What I Think Should Have Been
by Fishton
Summary: LAST CHAPTER ADDED Legolas never seems to show any signs of being affected by grief so in this he does, no flames please.
1. Default Chapter

.What I think should have happened!!!  
  
I don't own any of the characters or anything to do with the film so no suing or anything please!!!! Oh I'm not an experience fan fic writer so no serious flames please, constructive criticism but please no flames. oh and I'm only taking a guess at Legolas's age so don't shoot me if its wrong please.  
  
Legolas and Gimli just stood staring over the cliff which had claimed their friend Aragorn, Legolas had the Evenstar jewel in his hand and without noticing he began to squeeze it harder and harder, till he felt his hand go warm and he saw a slight red leak out from between his clenched fingers, a strange feeling began to come over him and he pushed the jewel into his pocket and wiped his hand on his clothes.  
  
Both Gimli and Legolas could hear the commotion behind them of the Men of Rohan tending to the wounded.  
  
The words of Theoden still circled through Legolas's head 'leave the dead'. Dead, Aragorn dead, he's dead, it cannot be Legolas began to say in his mind, it cannot be, we were talking this morning. A deep sinking feeling began to stir in his soul, this is grief he told himself, he could feel this kind of black cloud consume him from the inside, then as memories from the other losses came back to him, first Gandalf but he came back, then Merry and Pippin but they turned out to be alive, but Boromir he wouldn't come back - he watched the body go over the waterfall, he remembered the pain on the others faces and the way they expressed it.  
  
Now Aragorn, his companion, leader, friend, someone he cared for deeply as a fellow warrior for good was gone, no more laughs, no more tears, no more fighting side-by-side on this quest. The cloud got bigger and all of a sudden Legolas felt his chest get tight and his breathing became hard, his heart began to ache and he could feel its pumping in his ears as his head filled with a pain that he just couldn't comprehend.  
  
Forgetting his pride for a moment he heard himself say 'Gimli catch me' and with that his legs buckled from underneath him and he fell to the floor, luckily Gimli was close enough and fast enough to catch him and prevent him from falling of the cliff before them to join Aragorn.  
  
'Come on laddie, don't you do this to me, don't you leave as well' Gimli's concerned voice barley penetrated Legolas's head as everything sounded like it was underwater.  
  
As Gimli held the elf that was looking extremely pale and I mean even paler then usual, he began to feel concerned, he knew elves couldn't die that easily which explained Legolas complete incomprehension to death, but he knew that they could be slain in battle or die of a broken heart aka grief and the elf in his arms had experienced his fair share of grief, more than most elves ever do.  
  
Legolas turned to face Gimli who was nothing but a fuzzy outline, to the Elf. But what Gimli saw shook him exponentially. Legolas's eyes were always a bright blue with an Elven depth to them, which alone showed his age. But now they were dark almost black and glazed over in a dazed confusion. Gimli could hear Legolas's shallow breathing and watched as Legolas brought his hand up and clutched at his chest in pain. Then something happened that the Dwarf would never forget - tears started to roll down Legolas's pale cheeks and fall onto the floor.  
  
Legolas felt like he was in hell everything around him was fuzzy, his vision was deteriorating the pain in his heart was growing and he found that he could hardly breathe, so many dead, his thoughts turned to the many men that had died in the most recent fight, he began to think of their families, so many widows and fatherless children, who will be waiting for their husband and fathers to return but they never will, and Arwen, oh Arwen, you were willing to give up immortality for this man and now he is just gone, this is what mortality is, Arwen, it is pain and suffering, its too much to handle.  
  
Gimli pulled the Elf in to an embrace and started to talk to him.  
  
'Now you listen to me, Elf, Aragorn wouldn't want you to be like this would he, you have to fight this you understand you mustn't let the grief consume you, I know it is hard for you to understand but you have to trust me, the pain will get easier and you will learn how to handle it that doesn't involve you joining the dead'  
  
Legolas felt himself slipping away, then as Gimli's words began to register, and his embrace began to be felt, Legolas's vision began to clear and Gimli's figure began to come into view and he realised that if he let himself succumb to this pain and let it kill him then Gimli would feel the same, and even though he was a Dwarf he wouldn't wish this kind of hurt on anyone, especially the one person he had left at the moment.  
  
Legolas pulled himself upright and his hands moved to his knees and he felt his breathing clear and the ache in his chest subside, the dark cloud that was looming inside of him died down, but it didn't disappear. He turned to Gimli and spoke, trying to remember the tongue of men as his head was still fuzzy,  
  
'I am alright my friend, the pain is passing, you are not getting rid of me just yet' 'Well that's a relief, to be honest, I would prefer your company to a group of smelly men who wouldn't know how to throw an axe if shown by every Dwarf in middle earth, but seriously lad are you well?' 'Yes, I am fine now, I will not deny that I almost let my grief consume me as I did not know how to handle it, but I am learning I guess even after 2972 years on this earth there are still things to learn'  
  
Legolas finally pulled himself up to his feet with a little help from Gimli and the turned to rejoin the group, the site of all the dead men awakened new twangs of grief in Legolas's heart and caused him additional dizziness but he didn't let it show except to Gimli when he put his hand on the Dwarf's shoulder to steady his balance.  
  
Legolas walked toward his horse, as Gimli took one last final look over the cliff and he noticed the ground on which they were standing the grass was brown in spots where the blades had shrivelled and died, then it dawned on him those were the spots in which Legolas's tears had fallen, the sorrow contained in those Elvish tears was enough to kill those grasses in an instant.  
  
He got up and tuned to Legolas who gracefully and to the amazement of the men flipped himself on to the horse, Gimli rolled his eyes and said out loud 'Elves'. 


	2. Chapter 2

The Aftermath  
  
As the day went on Legolas appeared to recover, in fact the only sign that anything was wrong could be seen in his Elven eyes they were still slightly glazed and not showing their usual depth.  
  
During the ride to Helms Deep, Gimli and Legolas were silent. Legolas was trying his best to enjoy the ride in the sun on this horse, it was no horse raised by Elves but the men of Rohan had done a good job, though he hated the saddle, and the weight of Gimli hindered Arod's performance.  
  
Every now and again Gimli would grasp his hand on Legolas lean shoulder whenever he noticed a slight dip in his Elven friends head to bring back hid concentration to getting them home safely as Dwarfs are really good on horses and also as a distraction to Legolas and let him know that his unlikely friend is near.  
  
They arrived at Helms Deep to meet a crowded place filled with hustle bustle and lots of noise. As soon as the horses passed over the threshold, it felt to Legolas that he'd hit a wall of emotion, it almost knocked him off his horse, once in his life he felt jealous of mortals who can't feel things on this level, like him and his Elven kindred were 'gifted' in.  
  
Legolas could feel many eyes on him and Gimli, Men had more experience of Dwarves than they had of Elves. Gimli watched as children ran to awe at the legendary creature that was driving his horse, the pointed and whispered. The Elf took no notice, not out of pride but his mind was in disruption.  
  
The guests of Théoden were shown to separate rooms in the main castle, Gimli did take note that Legolas did get a better room than him, but he made nothing of it.  
  
It isn't in an elf's nature to stay cooped up in a room so he decided to take a walk, passing through the main hall, he noticed Éowyn tending to the wounded, for a moment their eyes met and it was like they could read each others grief, not on a level that was anything more than an understanding of each others loss.  
  
Walking out into the court yard, he could read the inhabitants feelings like a book, he didn't register any of them though he didn't need that flood of emotions in his head it was full of is own incomprehensible feelings.  
  
Eventually the barrage of everything became too much and he felt a rising claustrophobia. His breathing increased in rate and he could hear his heart beating in his ears again.  
  
Legolas found himself walking towards the stables, he was drawn to the wild nature of the horses and once inside he shut the door behind him, and leant against it for a second.  
  
Once he regained his composure he noticed that he was the centre of attention to all who were tended the many horses of Rohan. Taking a big gulp and lifting his head high, he made his way towards the pen that housed Arod, the horse that bore him and Gimli. There was a young stable boy and an older looking woman, brushing his mane and cleaning him up. Arod had no saddle or bridle on and for the 1st time Legolas took in the beauty of the white horse, its muscles were well formed and it was well fed, all in all an extremely health looking horse.  
  
'May we help you Master Elf', asked the women after she noticed the stranger standing there staring.  
  
'If I may be permitted I wish to take Arod out for ride' Legolas walked in to the pen and stroked the horse who went to another level of peace in the presence of an Elf.  
  
'King Théoden has given orders that no one is to leave the safety of Helms Deep' came the reply from the small boy.  
  
'please I beg, my day has be filled with many woes and my mind is over run with troubling thoughts, if anyone catches me I will say I took the horse of my own accord' Legolas spoke these words to both of the tenders, but is seemed as if the horse answered as it nuzzled Legolas, and began to push him out of the pen.  
  
'It seems as if this magnificent animal has made up his mind'  
  
'So be it master elf, your venture will not be made public by anyone here' the woman gave in and reached for the saddle and bridle,  
  
'please no, I thank you for you lenience but please no dressings for the horse, we Elves prefer to ride bare and enjoy the full nature of the animal as it was intended'  
  
'As you wish my lord Elf...may your ride prove fulfilling and worthy' the women said to him as he flipped his self on to the horse and speed away luckily someone got the doors open in time for the animal and his rider to breeze past.  
  
He had some trouble getting past the guards at the gate but using his status as the king's guest and being an Elf royal himself he was able to persuade them to open up and let him out.  
  
Once onto the ground he stopped and looked around for the best direction to go in, he choose a nice open flat that had patches of grass scattered about it.  
  
Whispering Elvish words to Arod, he just took off in a lightning movement and continued at that speed. Arod could feel no weight on his back from the Elf that could walk on fresh snow as if it were solid rock.  
  
The wind was rushing through his hair, and whipping at his ears, his clothes were fluttering as he rode on Arod with the speed and grace that rivalled the wind itself.  
  
Legolas just began to lose himself in the world around him which he couldn't actually make out as he was pushing Arod to his limit and the horse was loving it, as it is a rare thing when the Men of Rohan let their horses out with out saddles and bridles, and they always ride with heavy armour and carry weapons, now every muscle stretched and was worked to its full potential.  
  
In the great expanse of nature the Elf prince let his mind ponder over the tragic events of the day, and while the deep feeling of heart ache still resided within him, he realised that letting death take him too would mean leaving this world and all its wonders. But to experience these wonders without his dear friend Aragorn hurt him deeply as well. Pulling Arod into a dead halt, he looked into the sky and saw a few white clouds blocking the suns rays, so chanting a few Elvish words and raising his hand towards them he asked the clouds to move aside and let the sun through, they kindly obliged.  
  
Legolas lay down on the grass while Arod feasted near by, and absorbed the warmth of the sun. She happily lit up the land and sky for hours, as he drifted into a state that could only be described as sleep, his entire body which had been put through a lot even for Elves over the past month, was at complete rest.  
  
Legolas fell into a dream, filled with darkness and danger, and yet he felt safe, he was in a huge battle, there were enemies of all shapes and sizes, quickly drawing his bow he loaded up an arrow and started firing, the dark figures fell like flies, but more and more kept coming in an endless stream that never ended. Legolas was running out of arrows fast, then suddenly a hand landed on his shoulder, Legolas jumped and spun around, an arrow at the ready, but the figure facing him was not an enemy, but a tall and proud Aragorn, standing with sword in hand staring at his Elven friend.  
  
The bow and arrow fell from Legolas hand as he watched Aragorn slay creature after creature, till it seemed there were none left and it was just he and Aragorn in a wide expanse of nothingness. But Aragorn was alive, he floated over to Legolas while sheathing his sword and he planted both his hands on the still stunned Elf's shoulders, and spoke to him in fluent Elvish,  
  
'my friend what vexes thee, the day is done the battle is won and now its time for merriment, my dear friend you look like you have seen a ghost. You know in your heart everything is well so come be your usual content self others need your skills and company'  
  
Just as Legolas brought his hand up Aragorn face the figure faded away and he was bought out of his 'sleep' by the nuzzlings of Arod.  
  
Sitting bolt upright, Legolas realised he had been out to long and something was telling him to return, so he jumped on Arod and rode as fast as possible back to Helms Deep, it was if nature itself was helping him to fly home. He returned quickly and put the now tired but happy horse back in its stable thanking the woman and boy once more and headed back to the castle. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 (sorry it's short)  
  
Legolas blew past the guards, and flew on Arod through Helm's deep to the stables, flipping of the horse and waving a last thank you to the stable boy and horse maiden, as he ran out of the stable and in to the main tower, through a quick little side door into the main hall.  
  
Legolas, to the confusion of the others in there, just stood staring at the huge doors that were the entrance to this vast room, he could feel a hundred pairs of eyes on him but he didn't care. His breathing quickened as a sudden burst of commotion could be heard from outside. Then the doors swung open and from behind them came Aragorn!!!  
  
The Elf just couldn't move, Aragorn hadn't seen him yet, his head was down and he was kind of limping, but he was alive. Aragorn was alive! A great happiness filled Legolas as he watched his friend walk closer to him, still he didn't move, even when Aragorn almost collided with him.  
  
For a second Aragorn didn't know who was in his way till he looked up and saw the tired face of his Elven friend, staring at him, with joy in his eyes.  
  
Legolas couldn't think of anything to say and his felt so overcome that he completely lost the ability to speak any language other than his own.  
  
'Your late' was all he could manage he wasn't sure why he had spoken those words, it must have been some subconscious attempt to lighten the mood. He pulled his eyes away from the humans and looked him over.  
  
His clearing mind finally remembered the common tongue and noticing the state his friend was in.  
  
'You look terrible' he said in a more worried tone.  
  
Aragorn just smiled at his Elven friend who was still doubted his own keen eyes. A small chuckle erupted from Aragorn and Legolas couldn't help but bath in the levity and as Aragorn placed his hand on the Elves shoulder in an Elven greeting, Legolas felt his heart leap and the dark cloud that was early threatening to take his soul seemed to be no more but a distant memory.  
  
Aragorn could feel his Elven friends' joy as if it were radiating of him like sunlight. And he only began to understand what the Mirkwood prince had been feeling when his thoughts were interrupted by the production of the Evenstar jewel that he though had been lost forever to the Orc's. He couldn't comprehend how Legolas had acquired it but he knew his gratitude would last for as long as he lived, even if that may be only a few days, considering the hordes of Uruk-Hai he had just witnessed.  
  
Taking the Jewel Aragorn couldn't help but grasp on to Legolas's fingers slim fingers, to try and give the Elf some more reassurance that he is alive and is standing before him. Yet the human couldn't help but stare at the Jewel, and then at his friend with a look of disbelieve, in all the inner torment Legolas must have been feeling, he retained the jewel, either to give it back to Arwen some day, or in the slim hope that Aragorn did survive, to do what he had just done.  
  
Legolas finally accepted the fact that Aragorn had returned to them, and as Aragorn thanked him, in the elvish tongue, for the return of the Evenstar, Legolas nodded in the knowing that Aragorn was thanking him for much more.  
  
As Legolas watched Aragorn head for the kings chamber he felt a hand pat him on the back, and he turned to Gimli, who had a half smile on his face,  
  
'Feeling better now laddie, not thinking of leaving us now hey!!' 'No my friend, you are not getting rid of my that easily, now let us go and take in some refreshment that you are no doubt graving!'  
  
The dwarf laughed a hardy laugh and continued to make his way to the pantry, his heart felt light, because even though he may act like he was none to fond of the Mirkwood Prince, inside he cared for his friend and worried about him greatly, especially in the fact that all the friends the Elf was gathering were mortal and all would leave him.  
  
But at the moment the Elf was fine, and he would worry about it when the time came. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
'Their frightened, you can see it in their eyes' at these words spoken by the only immortal in an army of mortals. All eyes turned to him, in wonder, curiosity and fear.  
  
Seeing this Legolas had no choose but to switch to his own tongue, it was the only way he could speak privately to Aragorn in a room full of people.  
  
'And they should be... three hundred against ten thousand!' Aragorn had no choice to reply in the elvish tongue, while trying to explain the situation to his Elven friend. 'They have more hope of defending themselves here than at Edoras' Gimli didn't like the way this way heading, even though he couldn't understand what was being said, the tone in his friends' voices' told him enough. 'Aragorn. They cannot win this fight. They are all going to die!' Aragorn couldn't believe what his friend was saying, had he given up hope so quickly. The shock caused him to slip into the common tongue.  
  
'Then I shall die as one of them' as soon as the words left his lips he regretted them, realising everyone around him understood, his last sentence. But more than that the look in Legolas's eyes, a look of hurt, the absence of understanding mixed with disbelief was more than he could bear, and he tuned and walk swiftly out of the room. He heard Legolas try to follow him but he was stopped by Gimli.  
  
'Let him go lad, let him be'  
  
Legolas mind was fraught again, Aragorn was preparing to die. No! He couldn't, not again.  
  
Legolas, turned and ran out of the other door, he had to get out side. The stars were beginning to shine and he let their radiance take him, as he closed his eyes, a single unnoticeable tear fell from his eye, trailing a slow path down his face till it finally fell and hit the floor.  
  
He just didn't understand, no one not even Gimli was explaining it to him. He always thought that death was something to be avoided and that humans feared it. So why was Aragorn so accepting and ready to die? Did Aragorn want to die? Was life so unimportant? And if it was, was his going to last forever?  
  
His keen eyes, were drawn to direction in which Mirkwood lay, even though it was beyond the sight of even him, he knew it was there, and he knew that the whole of Mirkwood, would be waiting for their Prince's return.  
  
Then it occurred to him, what if his life ended this night. That thought scared him more than anything. Was he going to die? His home, his brothers and his farther were so far away. And yet he felt more than ever, a deep need to be with them, if this was his last night, shouldn't he be allowed to say goodbye to his family. Legolas didn't want to die.  
  
All of a sudden, he was drawn back to Helms Deep, by an unknown male voice.  
  
'Master Elf? I was wondering if you would like some sort of armour for the coming battle' Legolas nodded, and allowed him self to be led to the armoury, where he was given a large piece of leather armour that looked like it was to go on his torso, but to be honest he wasn't really sure. So he removed his elvish cloak, then weaponry, and allowed the still unknown man to place the heavy piece of clothing over his head. This was supposed to be protective but he felt trapped. He had never worn anything like this before.  
  
Looking round at the people surrounded him, he absorbed the emotions that were coming off them and even though he felt the fear he expected, it was drowned out, by an unexpected emotion, Pride.  
  
Then the realisation hit him and he cursed him self for not realising it before, these humans were proud to fight for their home, to fight for something the cared about, freedom. They were willing to die, for their home and their freedom.  
  
He began to understand what Aragorn had meant; Aragorn was willing to die for them. That didn't mean he wanted to die, just and he cared for these people and the other beings of middle earth so deeply that he was willing to lose his life if it meant survival of others. That is what will make him king one day. Legolas had to find him.  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
Gimli found Aragorn sitting on the stairs that led into the main chamber, and he sat next to him. Gimli spoke first 'We almost lost him Aragorn' Aragorn's surprise caused him to spin round and face Gimli. 'Yes. When you fell, the grief of your death almost claimed his soul; he only just pulled him self back'  
  
Aragorn remained silent, he knew Legolas had dealt with unknown emotions, but he never knew how far that had taken him. And Aragorn cursed him self, remembering the joy in the Elves eyes when he had returned, then the disbelieve that replaced it when Aragorn had declared his own death.  
  
Gimli stood up and left, to go and find some armour of his own. Aragorn was left on his own with his thoughts; he knew he would have to have a talk with Legolas before they went into battle. But his mind was distracted by the strange sight of a small young boy, holding a sword almost as big as he was, obviously not knowing what to do with it.  
  
******  
  
With renewed spirit Aragorn dressed for war, adding layer upon layer of chain mail, leather, and other assorted pieces of clothing and armour. Then his belt holding the Elven knife that had served him well.  
  
For a brief moment Aragorn though he had lost his dear sword. But then it came in to his view, being held up by a long slender hand, he looked up and saw Legolas.  
  
They locked gazes for a moment, and then Aragorn accepted his sword as he nodded to the Elf. Aragorn took in how his friend was dressed, he had never seen an Elf in Human armour and he thought the beauty in Princes features didn't really match the dark leather of the Rohan dressings.  
  
This was the first time that Legolas had ever worn armour of any sort, and he was obviously trying to adjust to the added weight, but through the uncomfortable nature he managed to convey I look of calmness and a final understanding.  
  
'We have trusted you this far. You have not led us astray. Forgive me I was wrong to despair.' Legolas's eyes begged for the forgiveness that he really didn't need. Yet to add some comfort, Aragorn gave his reply in the elvish tongue  
  
'There is nothing to forgive Legolas' Legolas felt a great relief as Aragorn embraced him in the elvish manner, Legolas embraced him back, and everything felt right again, all the anguish the Elf had been feeling, lifted away and they were all ready to fight for a new day. 


End file.
